Now, to refer to my
good old Pocket Oxford Dictionary of 1966, control is the “power of directing
and restraining” (and sundry other
definitions). In this book, it is used mostly in a negative sense: it
refers to controlling another person, to denying that person their dignity,
freedom and human rights, and bending them to your will.
Control is very
common, and rarely obvious. It usually occurs as some form of emotional
blackmail or coercion between friends, within a family, or at a workplace –
often with negative psychic overtones. It is also (in the context of this definition) something I would consider
often to be evil, and, at the very least, strongly negative (as in, “incurs lots of negative karma”).
Even the example I began this definition with is unacceptable – I spent
considerable time working at flaws in myself, clearing links, clearing units
around the other young woman, strengthening (or trying to) communication
between her and her guides –everything I could think of (with my guides help!)
to remove that control – from my end, at least.
Let’s look at some
other examples.
If you make a fuss or
a scene about a family member or friend who doesn’t want to join in some social
gathering (i.e., you may, for instance,
ask them to come along without freely accepting a “no” without comment or
coercion, which makes your question a lie), then you are attempting to
control another human being. If you try to persuade an employee to do more than
they agreed to when they took on the job without any increase in pay, you are
attempting to control another human being.
I have even had a
“friend” tell me that I “had” to accept the psychic attack of a third party on
another friend! (“You have to accept that
in friends, though”) RUBBISH!
No-one has to accept psychic attacks on them – let alone something as evil as
control.
Some more examples of
warning signs that control my be being used, or attempted:
·
phrasing questions “but don’t you …?;
·
springing expectations or conditions on people (“Of course, you will want to …”, or “Of
course, one of the conditions was …”);
·
the use of physical intimidation, emotional put
downs, or abusive verbal skills (including
“sweet talking”, manipulation and aggression) – all of which can be used by
any gender;
·
“minding other people’s business” (in the sense of gossiping about others),
or arranging “what is for their own good” – which shows how control can be
hidden behind a façade of what some people may consider reasonableness;
·
getting overly emotional (most commonly, angry).
The most widespread
way control is exerted, however, is by tailgating other drivers – which is
criminal, as well as evil.
Control is best
fought by assertiveness (controller's
often attempt to play on the developing compassion of beginners on the
spiritual path), especially on the physical level, and by blasting (that word is very deliberately chosen) the
controller with positive energy on the non-physical level.
Being proficient in, and regularly using, basic skills such as flaming, grounding, shielding / protection, meditation (particularly when it is used to enable contact with one's Higher Self), looking after one's psychic health, looking after one's health on other levels (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), dealing with issues (such as lifestyle vulnerabilities [see for instance, here, here, here, here, here, and elsewhere on my main blog]), and, above all else, CLEARING, all also help. (If you want another view on this, maybe consider the topic of "occlumency", from the Harry Potter-verse.)
Being proficient in, and regularly using, basic skills such as flaming, grounding, shielding / protection, meditation (particularly when it is used to enable contact with one's Higher Self), looking after one's psychic health, looking after one's health on other levels (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), dealing with issues (such as lifestyle vulnerabilities [see for instance, here, here, here, here, here, and elsewhere on my main blog]), and, above all else, CLEARING, all also help. (If you want another view on this, maybe consider the topic of "occlumency", from the Harry Potter-verse.)
Remember also: the
controller could be YOU.
See also “buttons”, psychic attack
and initiation.
As of the time this
definition was written, I’ve touched on this idea in the following posts:
A few other links:
<more may be added>
